As strong, independent people, we usually have A LOT on our plate that we must accomplish before hitting the next goal on our lists, whether it’s in our personal or public lives.
Let’s face it. There’s always another goal on our bucket list that we’re trying to accomplish after we finish the last one. Accomplishing our daily lists and taking on whatever life decides to throw our way can keep us depleted and swayed toward different directions all day long.
This is when boundary setting is highly important.
Boundaries give us a chance of enjoying our lives without taking on too many responsibilities that might, later on, become a burden, get us to a point of depletion, and let us focus on what needs to be done without trying to please the entire world around us.
The Power Of “No, Thank You”
I haven’t completely mastered this just yet, which brings me shame if I’m being honest. It’s disheartening saying no to people and desiring to want to help but not always being able to be there for them.
It’s important for me to be there for people as quality time is something I cherish, which sometimes means leaving behind my own vision to help build others’. Sometimes. This feels like it’s necessary to do but on occasion there will be times when saying “no” will be needed to continue growing as a person.
“No, thank you.”
One phrase with so much strength.
These three words clearly allow us to take our power back without making the other individual feel a type of way for this response. It also doesn’t require any extra explanation since it is an answer all on its own.
Try this next time you feel like saying yes to something you don’t feel like you should be doing. I’ll join you in on this as well, especially when I’m asked to cover shifts when I honestly don’t feel like doing it.
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” —Warren Buffett
Clarity of Your Goals
We’ll always be yearning for the next shiny thing or affection from someone if we’re not clear about where we’re going. It’ll be too easy to move on from one project to the next without the right vision attached to the goals.
Being clear also saves you time from doing what you don’t want to do and going after the things you do want to do. This is important because clients, business partners, friends, or family may ask you to do something and if it’s completely out of the left field, it may cause you to want to do it just because it’s someone you appreciate in your life. We shouldn’t be appeasing people. Just because someone wants you to do something, it doesn’t mean you should do it.
Having your goals in the back of your mind will help you when random questions comes up from the people in your life. These goals will help you stay aligned on what needs to be done. I’m currently training more for a marathon and you can only imagine how many times I need to say “no” to pizza. I want to feel good when I run so saying “no” to pizza today will help me when I go for a run the following morning. It’s a “no” that has stronger meaning since it is connected to a goal.
You know the phrase, “where focus goes, energy flows” by Tony Robbins — stay focused on your goals. With this, the right people will come into your life, you’ll learn more about yourself, and you’ll reach more success as you stick to what feels right for you and not for others.
Be Your Strongest Advocate
Choose yourself more often.
Allow others to deal with the emotions that come with putting you on this imaginary pedestal that isn’t yours to bear. Advocating for yourself means choosing what works for you and not for anybody else. It doesn’t matter what other people think if it will put you in a state of stress once it all becomes too much.
Be okay with being uncomfortable — let people handle your “no.”
Advocate for yourself in any situation where you may feel like others have more control. It isn’t your stress to bear so don’t allow others to walk all over you for the gazillionth time when you need to also build your own life.
Being an advocate for ourselves isn’t going to happen in one day. It’ll take work, strength, consistency, reliability in your abilities, and self-awareness. Don’t beat yourself up for not going through with what you said you were going to do when this situation you’re worried about happens again.